vermouth, duckling poppers and Billy Corgan's nanny

I am peeved and irked and flanked and shanked, and here are a few culprits. They are all of "the word."

Stupid interview intro with useless snot information:

"Over five bean soup, goat cheese salads, and iced tea in New York's Soho neighborhood, Malkmus recently chatted with NATN Associate Editor Jonathan Cohen about his new material, Pavement's demise, the guitar tone of Pearl Jam's Mike McCready, and a number of other earth-shattering topics." --from Nude as the News (this guy later blows the whole casual 'hanging with Malky' vibe by almost creaming his pants: "The woman's voice comes in just for the word 'carcass'...genius!")

Seems like magazines of musical tone always do this relaxy, not-bedazzled-by-star thing, and the prose tonally-correct meal menu/drinks sampled must be included. Of course, Malkmus had five bean soup. In Style, on the other hand, goes straight for your pores, even worse than me. Be sure to use those AHAs and slap on a mud mask the night before. "Gwyneth's whiteheads were healing nicely..."

End-of-article author taglines and bios steeped in ha-ha are wrinkly:

Senior Managing Editor Herb Slacks waxes poetic but not his bikini line -- from me

Wacky things printed on the spines of pretty important magazines (Details, Jane) that are meant to seem in-jokey and straight from the last editorial meeting: For a good time, call Wendy / See our ad in Life magazine! / Prithee purchase me, good sir, thy wallet doth bulgeth so.

Shady acres.

fell on 2001-02-01 at 18:59:03

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