whitepigeon's Diaryland Diary

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Whitsett and I

Los Angeles Driving Tips & Tricks:

• Although they’re annoying-to-obnoxious o’wise, drive behind Teslas and those enormo pickup trucks with the jacked tires (and drivers); they never go too slow. I like to think of them as my offensive (…) line.

• I’ve spotted a couple of cars with chrome, silhouette’d “basketball girl” and “swimming guy” decals à la the most cl(ass)ic “mudflap woman.” You need me to describe her? That’ll cost extra :)

Anyhow, these mod permutations make me think you’re h0rny for/from hobbies vs. celebrating the accomplishments of your kids. If so, fine, but I prefer not to find out this way.

• Create a lil narrative tension, make a fun scene-of-one, when stuck in Ventura Blvd. traffic. Crack your windows, crank (fine, play) Gary Numan’s “Music for Chameleons,” and slide on the Ray-Bans. Are you an aging-nicely former ‘80s child star? A widow working out deets for the Reseda property foreclosure? You’ll never tell.

7:55 a.m. - 2022-09-30

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